The First Day Of The Rest Of My Life

Welcome to the continuing saga of the story of Kim. My purpose for writing and creating this blog was two-fold. The first being an outlet for me to write and put my heart and soul into words. I discovered my passion for writing about 6 years ago when my brother and his wife finally (after 19 years) adopted a newborn baby girl, Emily Grace. Something stirred inside me to write a book titled "Dear Emily". My intentions were to have it done by the time she could read. I think I'm a little late on the completion, but I have worked on it. The book is about the early years of my brother and I, easier for me because I never forget anything. I actually remember things from as far back as 3 years old. (Mostly I remember that I was a terrorist and gave my brother a real hard time growing up.) Hopefully I'll be able to finish the book by the time she's 10. That's the plan anyway.

The second reason for creating this blog was because I feel like my purpose in life is to inspire and encourage people. I don't profess to be a comedian but if I can make someone laugh or smile because I shared some silly story or mishap about my life, then it's a job well done. You never know who is watching you. Recently a very dear friend of mine that I have known for many years disclosed a personal situation to me that I had been completely unaware of. I was very shocked because I always envied her life as being better than my own. Then she told me that she had been watching me and that I was her inspiration and 'leading the way' towards a big change in her own life. All this time I had no idea she was looking to me for guidance and direction. It brought tears to my eyes to think that all the pain, doubt, struggle and hopeless feelings I have experienced over the last few months had actually helped someone else. Does it make it all worth it? I'm not sure, but it feels pretty good at the moment.

I think there's a fine line between being an optimist and a realist. You must find the balance and be able to feel the emotions that are in the middle. I don't care how positive a person you try to be, some days you just feel bad. The key is to let yourself feel what you feel without getting trapped in one place. Learning how to 'adjust the sails' and take control of your own ship is very powerful. But remember, even 'Jesus wept'.